Dear J,

Oh my gods its head EXPLODED!

It was amazing!

Wait. I should start at the beginning.

But seriously though, he insulted it so hard that it's head exploded.

Seriously.

Right, the start...

So we got to Malkara. It doesn't really deserve its reputation. People here are just people like anywhere else. Mostly friendly, sometimes jerks, very occasionally megalomaniacal demon-summoning psychopaths.

We're actually staying at an Inn tonight. It's mostly because Muse wanted to introduce us to her cult leader. I get the feeling that he's going through the motions of cult leading and is actually a bit of a swindler, but Muse seems happy and there are way worse cults out there. Everyone needs to feel like they belong somewhere. I think it's harder for orphans like her.

I'm a bit worried about Tyrtaeus, he used to make magic items, like dad. He's having a rough time letting go, though. He keeps joining cults in hopes of finding the power he lost. I don't imagine that is going to end well for him. He's joined up with Muse's Cult of the Old One, for the moment. Again, there's worse cults out there.

Carlos, that's the cult leader, he sent us on a "great trial of initiation" for Tyrtaeus. We had to slay a monster that was causing trouble on a farm. I didn't really think that we were a proper crew for that kind of thing, I mean, I wear the clothes, but I'm not much of a fighter. The rest of the caravan aren't even as tough as me... or so I thought.

Turns out everyone is a total badass, even the monk. They kicked total bug butt. (The monster was some big cursed bug, smelled like dad's shoes and spat acid) The best part: (I know I spoiled it at the start) Tyrtaeus insulted it so hard that its head exploded. I don't know quite what he said, cause he whispered it, but the bug's head exploded. No hyperbole. E X P L O D E D.  It was amazing!

On a related note, do you know anything that will wash bug guts out of linnen?

Stay feral,

E