It's getting to where I'm not sure which end of the world is up anymore. Everything is weird, and symbols are everywhere but they still don't mean much to me.

We met the Tempest-Tossed Tinker (aka Scratch) who is also weird, but in a methodical, vaguely obsessive kind of way, which i find oddly calming. Could've done without the pile of forks... I mean, a pile of pillows would have been preferable.

I can still shoot an arrow straight, which is a relief. I was shooting at snake like people…

Organized piles like yesterday.

People fell through the ceiling today. Mostly it was good, because Meliantha made a plant grow and we climbed up and out. Tyrtaeus Valentos ruined my piles, but he found a big fort that's sometimes small so I guess it's good too. I saw Eugene Pangol and Olive again and that was unexpected but also good. Eugene seems different. Olive does too. Do I seem different to them?

Buddy was helpful (some were afraid of Buddy? Check why this is.) and rescued Muse. I…

As redemptive journeys go, this one seems... skewed.  When life got complicated in Ildir, when avoiding the Tong seemed impossible for two girls who lived to get into trouble, Ivan came and swept us away to adventure all over the place.  Traveling to volcanoes and the the sea, showing Jovi and I how amazing the world was and all the things we could do.  He turned my life upside down and looking back at it, he did that on purpose.  Suddenly everything revolved around him. I used to quietly blame…

Hey J,

I'm glad you're alive again. Don't ask how I know. It's complicated. 

I'm not sure how alive I'm going to be soon. There was a fight. Someone needed my power, he was a Paladin too. One of us needed to stay and fight to the end. One of us had to lead a retreat.

He stayed. I left. I gave him all the power I had left and he went to fight the giant snake monsters. I helped the townsfolk escape. 

Don't go to Endamos. It's all snakes now.

All that power is gone and it's not coming back…

Jovi I don’t know what to think right now. I don’t know what to say and I don’t know how to feel. 

It was so good to reconnect with you; to finally get to say all the things we both wanted to say.  And I was happy to tell you I was sober, I was… ok.  I had a purpose.  You were happy, doing well with your music, enjoying winter in Endamos…

Then I told you I was going to Ildir.  And everything fell apart.

When you told me that Ivan wasn’t who we thought he was I didn’t know what to think.  I’m…

So today I learned that I can resurrect a motherfucking dragon... which... is not exactly a helpful thing to discover after the fact. I can't actually think of a reason anyone would want to resurrect a dragon.

I want to blame Adele, because she looked at me like I was some kind of god. Because she believes in me, the way Alonso believes in me, the way nobody has ever really believed in me before. Because I want to blame anybody other than myself. But the truth is, I wanted to heal them. I…

I am back.

The thought coursed through Tyrtaeus as he made his way back to the Junkular Aria. Finally, all the cults, experiements, and backroom deals have paid off. The magic within the world could be harnessed once again. In fact, he could see some new ways of handling things. New...possibilities.

As he rounded the corner, the Schocksichord stood out proudly from the rear of the cart. My finest creation. And yet... 

It was as though Tyrtaeus was seeing it for the first time. It was…

Hey J,

Remember Olive? So she's a prophet. Like a big deal Yolena style prophet. And I know it. And I've always known it but I didn't know. Like my whole reason for existing was to get her and a rock together and bring her to a place in the woods. 

But now that's done. I don't know if I have a purpose anymore. Everything was so clear for a few moments when I was neck deep in shit and all my friends were dying around me, but when things calm down all that clarity disappears. It's like trying…

Jovi

Oh life is so strange.  So… I finally did it.  I sobered up and I’m doing my best to stay there. But DAMN the people I travel with are making that so hard!  I mean not everyone… I mean mostly Tyrtaeus…and J/GEFF… occasionally Muse…  maybe a little Olive and Gene … ok everyone.  But Totally mostly Tyrtaeus. He keeps offering me alcohol, and doing stupid things that make me question… things.  So he… I dunno he’s like trying to bring back magic things through making himself… well demony.  …