Jovi I don’t know what to think right now. I don’t know what to say and I don’t know how to feel. 

It was so good to reconnect with you; to finally get to say all the things we both wanted to say.  And I was happy to tell you I was sober, I was… ok.  I had a purpose.  You were happy, doing well with your music, enjoying winter in Endamos…

Then I told you I was going to Ildir.  And everything fell apart.

When you told me that Ivan wasn’t who we thought he was I didn’t know what to think.  I’m still reeling.  I’m not really angry at you for not telling me in a letter, I was shocked. I’m sorry now I yelled.  

The idea that Ivan was part of the Camonna Tong, that he wasn’t just our friend, my lover…that he was using us… With a clear head it makes sense.  But what does it mean?

Maybe when I get to Ildir the Tong will have forgotten me and what I did, maybe they won’t.  But I have to go.  I have to face my past and I have to fight for my future. 

What I told you about Olive, that’s important. I don’t understand it, but I know I need to help.  You need to be quiet about it, no songs about resurrecting dragons you just killed, despite the fact that it is right up your alley… maybe someday.

We’ll talk tomorrow, after GEFF’s concert, and yes I will still try and set up that joint concert.

Meli