Dear Diary 11
I think I get it now, why my parents do really stupid things. Tia, too. They keep finding... putting themselves in situations where doing nothing isn't an option.
That's where the town is now. If we don't do something, the town will be swallowed by spiders, devoured by monsters, crushed by bandits, or all three.
The problem with seeing the future, is that I can see all the possibilities and it's paralyzing. Every time the wind blows or I take a step, the branches change, so my instinct is to do nothing until the outcome is certain. That's no way to protect a town, though. It's like refusing to take medicine because I don't know if it will make me better. Maybe it will, maybe it won't, maybe it will make things worse. If not taking it will definitely kill me, then a risk needs to be taken.
I had hoped that asking Joyful Steel, Grandmother Havoc, and Torvar would give a clear path. It didn't. They are wise, or at least knowledgeable, but they're not really part of the town. They're alien. It's like asking a fish for advice on flying. I've been following Vanayo, hoping that he'd make the decisions for me, to save me from having to make the wrong choices myself. That's not fair to him, though.
All this is to say that I'm going to give Celendrial that ring. Maybe it will hurt her. Maybe it will turn her into a monster. Maybe I'll have to kill her. Probably, though, it will give her the chance to make a choice for herself.
Then I'm gonna help make that godforsaken weapon to end the lady. I'm still worried that we're kicking another brick out of creation. Maybe another option will present itself along the way, but if not, at least we have a Plan A.
I think I'm starting to understand what the Lady is... are. Maybe we don't need to destroy it... them... her. She's just a song, right? Or three movements in one piece. Maybe we don't need to end the song, just change the tune. I wonder if there's a way to make the song a little less eager, a little more benign. A lullaby instead of a march...
If only I knew someone that could sing the songs of creation...
I gotta go.