At the last minute I chose not to go through with Avitu’s elevation ritual. I had allowed myself to get swept up in my emotions. The discovery about Malu -- or the lack of Malu, Celendrial’s illness, my fear for Mallow and Priscilla, my love of this town and my fear for it. But as Avitu lowered me under the water, all my hasty decisions and incorrect assumptions flashed through my mind. When I ran away from my tribe instead of talking to them. When I assumed there was something living inside of…

Stelar is standing behind Venayo as he is deciding to be changed.

    Stelar speaking to themselves: We really aren’t sure about all the things these people are doing. Everything is confusing and different, and what this witch has to say is terrifying on many levels we are not prepared to comprehend. We could be seperated, but into what? Do we want to be seperated? Not all of us want to be seperated. Not all of ourselves are ready to be alone with ourselves again. Wait….What is Venayo doing?

A…

When I meditate, it is like I am inside a thundercloud. But I am also the thundercloud. I am furious with the nothics. They robbed me of any chance to walk the Path of Grief. I have been slammed straight into accepting that I am the source of the rage. I am Malu. 

All I am left with is “why?” Why am I so angry? Am I angry? Or do I just love violence? Am I not Still Water? 

My grandmother used to say that most people fear the wolf howling in the night. But every so often, one will envy the…

I wept openly when the crow doctor gave me the amulet. I have been away from the Still Water folk for a long time, but I feel that is still is an appropriate and understandable reaction. I wept for the pain I had caused Takis. I wept for the apology I could not bring myself to give, that I did not think would be accepted anyway. I wept for the tribe I left behind. I wept that Takis gets to return to the tribe. Even though I know that they are no longer Takis. 

I wore the amulet today. It makes…

To my friends 

Mallow Flower and Two Tails of the Fallen Stones clan

The Scratching Post

Town of Titan’s Reach

I have been learning a great many things. Particularly about entertaining and “stagecraft”. The fighting the performers do is very similar to the practice forms of my people. But my people aim for subtlety and surprise. The “stagecraft” requires that we make all our attacks completely obvious. The ringmaster keeps telling me “they need to see it coming in the back row”. I am…