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April 16, 2019
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Our encounter with Axelotl gave me much upon which to meditate. I found myself getting very angry with that man. But he was not mine to fight. I did not fight him so the anger still burns.
I sat with this anger for quite a while. The anger did not diminish but a peace came over me nonetheless. I realized that some things, some people are deserving of our anger, of rage even.
This means that the problem is not my rage. The problem is what to target with my rage. I know that it was wrong for me to use my rage on an opponent in a demonstration duel. That was petty, vengeful, spiteful. But to use my rage on someone like axolotl, someone who callously targets those weaker than himself, that would be justified.
If I can stop raging whenever I want, then I can also choose when to start. I must choose carefully.