At the last minute I chose not to go through with Avitu’s elevation ritual. I had allowed myself to get swept up in my emotions. The discovery about Malu -- or the lack of Malu, Celendrial’s illness, my fear for Mallow and Priscilla, my love of this town and my fear for it. But as Avitu lowered me under the water, all my hasty decisions and incorrect assumptions flashed through my mind. When I ran away from my tribe instead of talking to them. When I assumed there was something living inside of me, making me bloodthirsty. When I assumed The Shipwreck would work. I heard my conversation with Susan and thought, “will this be like The Shipwreck or like Malu?” And I realized I don’t have to guess. I can ask first. I can ask Joyful Steel or Torvar. 

So we asked Torvar. His reaction to finding out that Avitu is in the woods does not inspire me to trust her gift. And neither does the nature of the elevations Mallow and Tails received from her. Their natures seem to have been amplified. Would she have amplified my bloodthirst? I don’t know how I would have dealt with that…

While we there, Torvar gave me an unhewn length of wood from a tree that he said had been struck by lightning. He thought it would make a better weapon for me. I plan to take it to Joyful Steel and see if they will craft me a more powerful staff. 

I don’t know if Torvar gave me the gift to deliberately distract me. But I must remember to ask him who it was that told him to release the curse.